


I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You)

by makeitmine



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, klaine advent 2015
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:36:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5361599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeitmine/pseuds/makeitmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU from 6x01. Kurt wants to repair what they had, but Blaine refuses to do so. Next thing Kurt knows, Blaine Anderson doesn't exist and everything in his life is backwards. Can he save himself and find his true love again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this year's Klaine Advent, and simultaneously posted on my [Tumblr](http://andersonswalsh.tumblr.com). Each chapter title is the word for the day. I thought I'd do something far enough outside my comfort zone, and I hope you enjoy it!

As Kurt slips on the white jacket there’s a knock on his hotel door. “Just a second,” he calls out, expecting it to be his father.

He opens the door to find Blaine instead. “Hi,” he says tentatively.

“Hi,” Kurt replies. They’ve--been cordial throughout the wedding planning process. He knows he expected a few issues as Santana and Brittany’s day arrived, and he’s sure Blaine feels the same. This could have been them; this _should_ have been them two months ago. If only he hadn’t fucked everything up.

“Can I come in?” Blaine asks. Kurt nods, stepping aside to let Blaine through the threshold.

“You aren’t ready to go yet? We’re supposed to meet at the barn in an hour.”

“No, um, I left my suit at home so Dave ran back this morning to pick it up. He should be here in about fifteen minutes.”

Kurt stifles a chuckle. Blaine always lets something slip through his mind when he’s stressed about something. “Getting worked up for sectionals already?” he asks.

Blaine shakes his head. “It’s not that, we still have a couple weeks.”

And Kurt knows exactly what the reason is now. “Ah.”

“I didn’t think this would be so hard,” he mumbles. “I thought I could handle it, and stand next to you today, and…”

“I understand.”

Blaine sighs and runs his fingers through his gelled-down hair. “No, you don’t, Kurt. If you understood, you wouldn’t have broken my heart.”

“Look, I don’t know how many times I’ve apologized this week, but…”

“But nothing. You _broke_ me. I lost my place at NYADA, I lost my home, and I lost my best friend.” He sniffles as a tear falls down his cheek. “Do you realize what today is, Kurt?”

He shakes his head. “It’s Sunday?”

“It’s the ninth.”

“It’s--oh.” Kurt’s eyes go wide. “Oh.”

Blaine scoffs as he turns as red as his polo in anger. “Yeah, ‘oh’ is all you can say now? Four years ago today my life changed. I met someone who inspired me, who believed in me, who challenged me to do everything I had pulled myself away from after I was beaten. And now here I am, in therapy, on medication, and teaching the Warblers. My boyfriend and my mom seem to be the only people who give a shit how I’m doing anymore.”

“Blaine, that’s not true,” he counters. “You have Sam and Rachel and Mike and--”

“And everyone except the one person who knew how to get through to me.” Blaine shakes his head and walks back towards the door. “I shouldn’t have done this.”

“No, Blaine, stay.” Kurt attempts to block the door but Blaine pushes him aside.

“I can’t be in here, it’s too hard.” Before he slams the door shut behind him, he turns around and stares at Kurt, his eyes stormy. “Happy anniversary, Kurt. I wish I had never met you.”


	2. Broadway

“Kurt? Kurt, come on, we have to get going!”

Rachel’s pounding on the door startles Kurt awake. He hadn’t realized he dozed off after Blaine went off on him. He sits up and stretches, grimacing at the thought of how wrinkled his suit now is.

She starts in again. “Seriously, Kurt, you know how bad Brittany has been about making sure every detail is perfect. Do you really want to upset her today, and in turn make Santana go Lima Heights on you?”

“I’m coming, okay?” he shouts. Grabbing his phone and wallet and double-checking his hair, he strides across the room to leave. “Sorry, I lost track of time.”

Rachel smiles and takes his arm as they walk to the elevator bank. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you were probably on the phone with your boy all night finding out how his audition went. So, did he get a callback?”

Kurt side-eyes Rachel, who’s gleefully bouncing up and down while they wait for an elevator. “What are you talking about?”

“Adam? Your boyfriend? Going out for his first Broadway audition?”

He shakes his head in amusement. “Rach, Adam and I haven’t spoken in forever,” he says, “let alone dated.”

“Are you okay, Kurt?” she asks, looking concerned. “I know sometimes you still get a headache after the attack, but you two have been together almost two years now. Unless… wait, did you two elope and not tell me?”

“No, Rachel, we did not.” A ding is heard to their right, and as the doors open they step inside. Rachel hits the ground floor button. “I don’t know how Adam did anyway,” he continues.

“You’re right, he’s probably waiting until callbacks are announced to celebrate. It’s too bad he couldn’t be here, I know Santana misses him as much as she claims she doesn’t.”

“Mmhmm.” They reach the lobby and exit, making their way through the sliding doors and across the parking lot to her car. As they get inside, Kurt pulls his phone out and swipes it on. Just as he opens up his email application to see if Maggie’s daughter sent him a reply about getting her out for Thanksgiving, a text notification pops up.

Adam 1:48 PM  
Hope everything goes smoothly with the brides today. Miss you bunches, love!

That’s strange, Kurt thinks. They haven’t spoken since the day Kurt finally admitted to him that he was still in love with Blaine. Why was he texting now, and calling him pet names? How did he even know Santana and Brittany--who was dating Sam in Lima at the time Adam was around--were getting married?

He decides to be polite and texts back a “Thanks, you too!”

“Was that Adam?” Rachel asks.

“Yeah.” He’s still confused, and still marred by what happened earlier. He switches over to his photo album to look at pictures of a better time in his life. What he finds, however, is numerous shots of him, or of Adam, or of both of them with friends--Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Elliott.

She takes her eyes off the road for a split second as he stares at one shot of them curled up on the couch in the loft. “Oh, I loved that day,” she sighs. “That was when you told me he was The One.”

“I did?” Kurt asks, voice squeaking higher.

“Of course, silly,” she grins. “When he broke into that John Legend song he arranged to cheer you up after you lost your favorite scarf?”

Blaine did that, though, he thinks, on the piano while rehearsing for June’s showcase. “Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Kurt replies. He may as well go along with the charade if Rachel and Adam are.

They arrive at the barn and he rushes inside to the room the groomsmen are meeting in. Sam turns around and smiles. “There you are, I thought you got lost?”

“With Rachel driving, that wouldn’t have been surprising,” he says. “Where’s Blaine, he’s not here yet?”

“Who?” Artie asks.

Kurt gives him a quizzical look. “Blaine? My ex-fiance?”

“Dude, you’re cheating on the Brit?” Puck gasps. “Not cool, Hummel, and that’s coming from the king of cheating.”

He glares at the boys--Sam, Artie, and Mike look confused, and Puck’s face is full of disapproval. “Okay, everyone, nice try. Now where is he?”

“Who are you talking about?” Mike asks him. “Is he a friend of the girls?”

“Unbelievable,” Kurt mutters to himself. “Blaine Anderson. Short, preppy guy with an incredible voice? In New Directions with us? Your best friend?” he says pointedly towards Sam.

Sam looks at the others shaking their heads and then at Kurt. “We’ve never heard of him. Are you okay? Is your head hurting?”

“No, my head’s fine!” Kurt snaps. “You’re saying you have no idea who he is?”

“Nope.”

“I can’t believe this.” He pulls his phone back out to text Blaine about his whereabouts--only to discover there’s no entry for his name and number in his phonebook.


	3. Competition

Kurt learns a number of things during the wedding and reception.

The first is that Rachel is still attending NYADA ( _Yes, Fanny Brice is my dream role and I auditioned for it, but really Kurt? In what world would they have offered it to me?_ ) and is spending her service year assisting Mr. Schuester with New Directions in Finn’s honor. They never disbanded after Nationals in Blaine’s--or Sam, Tina, and Artie’s senior year. They never even made it that far, falling at Sectionals to the Warblers. Marley is leading the team now, and all of the now-seniors are attending the wedding, along with their new friends.

As for their old competition? Nobody has ever spoken a word to that team outside of performances. So that’s no help getting to Blaine.

He flies back to New York the next morning. A couple days off due to the trip and Veteran’s Day are much-needed. He slips into the loft and looks around. Except for where pictures of him and Blaine are replaced with him and Adam, everything is exactly the same. Kurt unpacks his bags then collapses on his bed, hoping a nap will relieve him of this nightmare.

When he's awoken a few hours later, he realizes it's ongoing. “Love, wake up,” a familiar, heavily-accented voice sings to him.

Kurt pops an eye open. “Adam?” he slurs through the sleep. “What are you doing here?”

Adam grins and kisses his forehead, the scent of his aftershave lingering and reminding Kurt of the few precious weeks they did have together in real time. “I just got off work. Where else would I go afterwards?”

“Home, maybe?”

“Love, are you feeling right?”

Kurt groans. “Why does everyone keep asking me that lately?”

“I’ve been living here since Rachel went back to Ohio, remember?”

No, he doesn’t, he thinks. “Oh, right. Sorry, my head’s been a little cloudy lately.”

“But no pain? I don’t want you suffering like you did, Kurt.”

“Trust me, I’ll let you know if it gets worse.” Sitting up, Kurt decides to change the subject. “How was your audition?”

Adam shrugs. “Interesting, I guess. I didn’t make it to the next round, though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, love.. The competition out there is much more barbaric than at school. I think it made me realize it’s still a long road to get on that marquee sign, you know?”

Kurt shudders at the thought. He’s dealt with so much strain at the hands of his fellow classmates. “That’s scary.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adam smiles. “If anyone can make it to the top quickly, I have no doubt it’ll be you.” He settles in on the other side of the bed-- _Blaine’s_ side, damn it--and pulls Kurt flush against his side, wrapping his left arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “I missed seeing your friends this weekend.”

“They all missed you. Dad and Carole too. They’re hoping you’re coming for Thanksgiving.”

“Of course, love. I already spoke with Deborah and she agreed to give me the whole week off. I can’t wait for it.”

“Me either,” Kurt says, hoping reality comes back before the holiday.


	4. Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is Day Tripper, by The Beatles

Four days, sixteen hours, and thirteen minutes later Kurt finally has a chance to breathe.

He’s pretty confident that Adam and Rachel have discussed how Kurt has been feeling since the wedding. Because of that, Adam hasn’t left Kurt’s side other than for work. They’ve gone out every evening, with Adam somehow scoring tickets to _Aladdin_ , _Beautiful_ , _Book of Mormon_ , and _Wicked_. Each evening has been followed by a painful attempt by Adam to have sex. It wasn’t something Kurt was able to give himself to during the other relationship, so he keeps pulling away, citing how exhausted he is.

The moment Adam kisses him goodbye to head off to his job--which Kurt has now learned is at a trendy British tea room, of course--he breaks his computer out to find Blaine. The first thing he does is pull up show choir competition videos from his junior and senior years. He’s unfazed at the sight of him performing with New Directions during the 2010 Sectionals and 2011 Regionals. If he doesn’t know Blaine, of course he wouldn’t have attended Dalton, right?

Everything else is nearly the same. Quinn and Sam duetted to the song from Dirty Dancing, and Santana sang Amy Winehouse. Watching himself in the background is a little surreal, but he can see there’s a disconnect in his eyes, like he isn’t all into it. It makes sense, though, as it’s around the time when Dave was at his worst in terms of accepting himself and Kurt.

He watches the Warblers after and the first glimpse of Blaine, just before he starts in on Hey Soul Sister, catches Kurt’s breath. He hasn’t heard Blaine sing since before the night they broke up, and it’s still as mesmerizing as always. One day, hopefully, the world will get to experience the beauty and precision that comes in each song he sings.

Three replays later, Kurt moves on to Regionals videos, and that’s where things change. It isn’t Candles that introduces the Warblers to the judges. It’s, surprisingly, a Beatles song that Blaine leads.

“Got a good reason for taking the easy way out. Got a good reason for taking the easy way out now. She was a day tripper, a one-way ticket, yeah…”

Blaine’s still as thrilling to watch, but the set now pales in comparison to the original songs New Directions offered. Kurt sighs as he watches his younger, stranger self light up in celebration. He remembers the dejection of the Warblers’ loss, not this. Deciding not to move on and watch the other years, he tabs over to Facebook and searches for Blaine’s profile. One result pops up.

_Blaine Devon Anderson_  
Westerville, OH  
Graduated from Dalton Academy 2013  
Attends Ohio State University  
In a Relationship with David Karofsky 


	5. Escape

Bringing your boyfriend home for Thanksgiving is a mess.

Bringing your boyfriend whom you weren’t even aware was still in your life until two and a half weeks ago home for Thanksgiving is even worse.

Adam is fascinated by everything about the holiday. “We don’t have a day like this back home,” he tells Carole as he helps her roll out dough for pies. “Maybe if we had, we’d all still be one happy little country.”

“Let’s not get too carried away,” Burt chuckles from the table. “I happen to like my job, and frankly your queen scares me.”

“Who, ol’ Liz? She’s harmless.”

“Y’know, if you’re such good friends with her, I’m sure you could take Kurt to meet her at some point.”

Adam stares at Kurt to his left, who busies himself chopping apples to toss into the pastry once it’s done. “That’s actually not a bad idea. What do you say, love?”

Kurt sets the knife down on the cutting board. “About what?”

“Going to England for the holidays. You know my family has been ready to meet you in person, and it’ll be refreshing to be able to drive on the correct side of the road--no offense, Mr. Hummel.”

“None taken,” Burt says, tipping his glass of water towards the island.

“So what do you say, Kurt?”

He, frankly, doesn’t know what to say. Part of him wants to say yes in an instant. He knows the Crawfords live just a 40-minute train ride outside of London, so it’ll be easy to witness the sights and sounds of such a grand city lit up for the season. And who knows, maybe he could drop a baby gift off for William and Kate as well. But this isn’t the life he should be leading. The life he wants is one with a different man by his side, one who would plan for months and save money for something as massive as an overseas trip rather than bringing it up a few weeks in advance.

“I don’t know if it’s such a good idea,” he finally replies.

“What? Why?” Adam gently places his hand on Kurt’s shoulder, caressing the wool-knit cardigan he’s wearing under his apron. “I really want to bring you home.”

“I know you do, Adam, but with a month’s notice? I’m in college, I don’t have money for a passport, let alone whatever airfare would cost.”

“We’ll pay for it, son,” Burt offers. Carole nods in agreement.

He looks back and forth between them. “Y-you really don’t have to,” he stammers out.

“Think of it as our Christmas gift to you.”

“Can I think about it? I forgot I’m supposed to meet Rachel at the Lima Bean in fifteen minutes.” Burt nods, and Kurt seizes the chance to escape. He slips out of the apron, pecks Adam and Carole goodbye, and makes sure he has everything to make the drive.

Rachel isn’t meeting him. He just needs space from the overwhelming suffocation Adam has placed him under. Blaine was never this bad about not giving him space. Kurt arrives at the Lima Bean, parks his car, and strolls inside to order.

Just before he reaches the register a voice stops him. “Kurt?”

He turns around and his eyes widen. “Dave?”

“Hey there,” Dave smiles. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Kurt lies. “How about you? What have you been up to? I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”

“Since I got out of the hospital, yeah.” Okay, so Dave’s worst moments are still in this timeline, Kurt thinks, and he’s almost glad for that. “I finished high school with a tutor, attended Allen County Community for a year, then transferred to OSU. Came home for the holidays to introduce my folks to my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Kurt grins, hoping he doesn’t let on that he knows more about this than he should.

“Yeah, he’s seated over at the window. Order your coffee and come over, I’ll introduce you to him.”


	6. Fan

Kurt does his best to not spill his mocha as he weaves through the empty tables to where Blaine and Dave are seated. As he approaches he studies Blaine--he’s a little less put-together. White collared shirt, dark jeans, well-worn loafers. His hair, of course, is style immaculately, but there’s something Kurt can’t put his finger on as to what’s missing.

“You sure you don’t mind if I join you?” he reiterates as he pulls a chair over from a nearby table, sitting in between the two men.

Dave grins and shakes his head. “Nah, it’s cool.” He gestures across the table. “Kurt, this is my boyfriend, Blaine. Blaine, this is Kurt, we went to McKinley together.”

Blaine’s eyes light up as he offers his hand for Kurt to shake, and it somehow eases Kurt’s mind. “Wow,” he breathes out. “I wish I knew Dave knew you. I’m a huge fan of yours.”

Kurt chuckles as he pulls back. “I’m sorry?”

“Oh, god, that made me sound incredibly creepy.” Blaine blushes and smiles, staring at Kurt through long lashes. “I remember your voice, from show choir competitions. Your version of Defying Gravity at the 2012 Regionals, it was mesmerizing.”

This is a development Kurt didn’t expect. He didn’t have a line in that competition when he lived through it, and now he had a solo? “Thank you,” he replies. “Who did you compete with again?”

“The Warblers. The all-boys--”

“Acapella group? I think I remember you now. Were you the one who sang Beatles the year before?”

Kurt is amused by how flattered Blaine is at the mention. “Yes, that was me.”

“You’re incredible. I hope you’re putting your voice to good use still.”

And that’s what pulls the happiness out of Blaine. “Well, not so much now…”

“Yeah, school’s pretty time-consuming,” Dave adds. “Maybe one night we should hit up a karaoke bar so you can get something in, huh?”

Blaine shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”

Kurt senses that things are more off than they should be. “Anyway,” he breaks in, “how did you two meet?”

“At a PFLAG meeting,” Dave says. “I knew when I moved to Columbus I didn’t want to hide myself anymore, so I went to the first one and there he was, another first-timer.”

“I was just testing the water on a few extracurriculars,” Blaine chimes in.

“That’s good,” Kurt says, fiddling with the lid on his cup. “So you’ve been together for a year then?”

Dave nods. “In October. Figured it was time to introduce Blaine to my old stomping grounds.” He reaches across the table to take Blaine’s hand in his. “You enjoying it, Boo-boo?”

“It’s… interesting.” Blaine sips his coffee and turns back to Kurt. “So what do you do? I’m assuming you aren’t going to school in Ohio, correct?”

Kurt chuckles. “Oh, no, no, no, not even. I’m in my third year at NYADA.”

“NYADA? Wow, impressive.” Blaine shoots him a warm smile. “Do you see shows often?”

“Not usually, no, school and work have me tied up quite often. But my boyfriend and I saw four of them a few weeks back.”

“You’re seeing someone too?” Dave interrupts. “You should have brought him here.”

“Oh, he’s not much of a coffee person. He’s British, so tea is his thing.”

“British, huh? How long have you been together?”

“About two years. He graduated from NYADA last June.”

The more Kurt talks about NYADA and New York and Adam, the more he notices Blaine focusing on even the most mundane anecdotes. It’s as if somewhere deep down, the real Blaine is waiting to pop out and apologize for putting Kurt through this hell. They talk for nearly an hour when Carole texts him to ask if he wants pizza for dinner so they can take a break from cooking.

“That’s my stepmother, I should probably get going.” He pulls his coat back on and grabs his now-empty paper cup. “It was nice meeting you, Blaine.”

“Same here,” Blaine says smiling. “Who knows, maybe I’ll see you around again?”

“It was good talking to you,” Dave adds. “Tell your stepmom I said hi, okay?”

“Sure thing.” He waves goodbye to them and makes the trek back to his car. As he climbs in, he can’t help but notice Blaine staring at him through the window.


	7. Guide

Carole has Black Friday off for the first time since she entered the Hummel men’s lives, so she and Kurt make the most of the day. They’re up at 2 to drive across the state line to Fort Wayne, and they do some pretty significant damage at two different malls. Nearly everyone on Kurt’s Christmas list has a gift--or, in Rachel’s case, a few Hanukkah gifts from both of them.

And he may have snuck a green plaid bow tie into his purchases. Just in case things right themselves.

“Do you mind if we head to the Barnes & Noble across the street before we drive home?” Carole asks as they load the bags into the back of her CR-V. “I keep meaning to check if that new Jodi Picoult book is out.”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Kurt replies. He figures he can pick up some reading material for the flight back to New York. 

It’s fairly quiet inside the shop. As Carole peruses the fiction displays, Kurt wanders off to the magazines only to find nothing that stands out. He’s disappointed, but not surprised. As soon as he decides to get a coffee and scone from their cafe, he receives a text.

_You and Adam up for hanging out tonight? The brides are back from their honeymoon and want to see everyone._

He sighs. The last thing he wants is to deal with the entirety of New Directions and Adam at the same time. He shoots off a reply to Rachel. _We’ll see. Been shopping in Indiana all day so I may be too exhausted when I get home._

_:( That’s understandable. Give Carole a hug and a kiss for me!_

_Will do!_ Kurt shuts his phone off before another reply comes.

He’s found that this life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, he has the accolades at school and his ins with Isabelle, who called him last weekend to gush over a preview she received of someone’s Fashion Week runway. He has his friends and family and they’re as wonderful as ever. He has a boyfriend who seemingly adores him. But he doesn’t have the one who stole his heart over a dead bird’s casket.

Once he gets his order he sits down and eats. Carole finally comes by half an hour later, her arms loaded with paperbacks. “There you are,” she says. “I found a few books that may be of interest to you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm. Here you go.” She sets them on the table and pushes three across for Kurt to see.

He immediately gapes at them. “Fodor’s, Michelin, London for Dummies… seriously, Carole?”

She grins. “I figured a few guides would help you find the best spots for your trip.”

“I haven’t even committed to going yet,” he sighs. “It would be a waste of money for you and Dad, and I don’t think I’d enjoy it.”

“Why not, Kurt? You’ve said before it’s been on your bucket list to see, and with Adam along to show you around it’ll be a bit easier.”

Kurt bites his lip, as this isn’t going well at all. “Carole, can I tell you something in secret? You absolutely cannot repeat this to anyone.”

“Of course,” she nods.

“Okay. I--I don’t think Adam is it for me.”

“What?” Carole gasps.

“I mean, he’s a great guy and all, but I don’t love him the way I should love someone I’m seeing. It’s like there’s--there’s someone else out there, someone who could mean more and be more for me.”

“I see what you mean,” she replies. She reaches across to pull half of his now-discarded treat apart and pop it into her mouth. “You don’t want to go and have the time of your life, then break his heart, huh?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Is that wrong of me?”

“I guess not. I mean, I’m no expert in love since after Finn’s dad passed it took fifteen years to find the right person. But you’ve been so happy with Adam, and you’ve mentioned picking out a decent wedding theme that won’t make him feel too Downton Abbey. What changed, Kurt?”

He wants to tell Carole the truth. He wants to say there’s someone else, someone whom he’s only spoken to once but also constantly. Someone he barely knows, yet knows inside and out. Someone he wishes for and wishes he didn’t screw up with.

“I changed,” he settles on. “I want to find my true love.”

“You will, Kurt. I promise.”

He grins at Carole. He just hopes it’s not too late to get Blaine back.


	8. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. I had finals Wednesday and Thursday, which ended up coinciding with a bit of depression, as well as three straight 5 AM or earlier shifts at my job this weekend. It may take me several days to catch up to the prompts as I have one more test tomorrow, work, and real life responsibilities in the coming days. The previous two years I'd only gotten one day behind in each, so this hurts. But I promise I'll get all 24 in!

Traffic slows to a crawl in Van Wert, and Kurt knows there’s no way he can make it to see everyone. After profusely apologizing to Rachel, he pulls his browser up to set up an online order at Breadstix for the four of them. He knows there’s no way his dad cooked anything, and Adam is more than likely terrified of being in the same room as Burt alone, so he’s been hiding in Kurt’s bedroom all day calling various family members.

As Carole pulls into one of the designated takeout spots in front of the doors, Kurt sees a familiar face leaning against the outer wall of the building. “Blaine?” he asks tentatively, hoping not to startle him.

Blaine looks over and Kurt can tell something happened, as his eyes are bloodshot. But he still smiles, because even in this not-reality-in-Kurt’s-mind he’s still Blaine, and he’s still friendly to all. “Hey, Kurt, right?”

He nods. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Blaine doesn’t look entirely sure of what he’s saying, but Kurt goes along with it. “Just some family things, that’s all.”

Kurt remembers hearing through the very-loose-McKinley-grad-grapevine that Pam and Steven had split up the summer Blaine returned home after their own breakup. It was something that anyone who knew the couple--specifically their younger son’s ex-fiance--could have seen coming a mile away. A workaholic who had little time for his family and a stay-at-home mom who’d just sent her baby off to another state? It was the perfect recipe for a marriage meltdown. Much like what he and Blaine experienced after everyone else left New York.

“I’m sorry,” he finally replies. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Blaine quickly shakes his head no. “I don’t really want to unload everything on you, even if you’re Dave’s friend.”

Kurt bites his tongue to keep from saying that he and Dave are most certainly not friends. “I’ve been known to offer a pretty good ear to others,” he jokes.

It’s enough to make Blaine giggle. “Talented and hilarious. Are there any other talents you have hidden up your sleeve?”

“Let’s see…cooking, designing clothes, learning how to decorate a loft for three people, and helping Broadway retirees remember what they loved doing.” Another laugh from Blaine and he feels his hear warm with the hope that maybe, possibly, a spark of what they’re supposed to be is igniting. “Really, though, I hope everything gets better for you. You seem like a pretty good guy, and good for Dave.”

Blaine nods, though his face becomes unreadable. “Thanks, Kurt.” He peers inside the restaurant, and Kurt notices that Dave is seated in a booth by himself and he’s probably interrupting a date. “I should head back inside,” Blaine adds.

“Oh, yeah, of course. I’m surprised my stepmother hasn’t honked at me to get our order before it gets cold.”

“Yeah, you should probably do that.” Blaine steps towards the door and holds it open for Kurt. “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime, okay?”

“Maybe, yeah,” Kurt smiles. “Have a good evening, Blaine.”

“You too, Kurt.”

Kurt pays the hostess for their spaghetti and ravioli meals, then heads back out to the car. Carole gives him a look as he steps in. “Who was that?” she asks.

“Just a friend,” he answers, even though Blaine has always been more than that.


	9. Indecent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I ever promise a date anymore. Hi, I'm a week behind. But, notice there's a rating change as this word kind of called for it. Will there be more porn in the future, specifically two prompts from now? Time will tell. ;)

Two nights after he and Adam return to New York, Kurt wakes up drenched in sweat and hard as hell. He hasn’t felt like this since the few days before the Scandals and Sebastian debacle, before he and Blaine decided it was time to take their relationship to the next level.

He turns to make sure Adam is still asleep--thankfully so. Kurt slips out of bed and pads through the loft to the bathroom. He needs privacy to fully take care of this, and he can’t get that when his boyfriend is next to him.

Especially when the reason for this is his ex-fiance.

He locks the door and, for good measure, moves their storage unit full of toiletries underneath the knob. He’s no longer apprehensive of sex with Adam--they had a tumble or two before heading to Ohio, and it felt nice. Adam is pleasant in bed. That’s about all he can describe him as, as he’s gentle and willing to make sure Kurt enjoys it as much as he does. In fact, Kurt’s starting to find himself enjoying life with Adam.

The problem is, life with Adam is a Disney Channel movie, while life with Blaine is a summer blockbuster.

Kurt pulls down his sleep pants and underwear, squeezes a dab of lotion into his hand, then slides it up and down his cock a few times. Just the friction is enough to make him remember the vivid, thoroughly indecent dream he woke from, and he pumps harder.

They were back at the hotel in Indiana, the one where everything turned upside-down. They arrived back in Kurt’s room wearing different suits than they had planned--black, not white. McQueen and Brooks Brothers. As soon as Kurt put the do not disturb sign out and turned the deadbolt on the door, Blaine pushed him up against it and devoured him. It took time for the two of them to strip down to nothing, and Kurt moans at the memory of Blaine’s naked body. It’s been entirely too long since he’s seen it in person.

He remembers how they went for it against the wall, frotting and gripping each other’s cocks, before moving to the bed and Blaine rode him hard. “Goddammit,” Kurt moans out as he increases his rhythm. He misses how tight and perfect Blaine’s ass is around him. He misses sex with Blaine. They always knew what the other was looking for and how to get there, unlike Adam whose style of intimacy is pretty vanilla. The longing seems to be making quick work of him; he can feel the pressure bubbling up inside already.

He goes back to the dream, to after he came--and boy, did dream!Kurt come--and they cleaned up and laid back down in blissful peace. The next words Blaine said are the ones that stick out the most.

“Not bad for our first night as husbands, huh?”

“Fuck!” Kurt screams a bit too loud as he comes, strings of white shooting up his chest. He gasps for air, willing himself to return to normal when a knock interrupts him.

“Kurt? Are you okay in there, love?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he says too quickly.

“Are you sure?” Adam jiggles the door knob. “The door’s locked, I can’t get in there.”

“I said I’m fine, Adam,” Kurt snaps through gritted teeth. “I just hit my hand on the bathtub, that’s all.”

“Okay. Do you want an ice pack?”

“No, I think it’s okay. Go back to bed, I’ll be in there in a few minutes.”

Kurt listens as footsteps tread across the loft to their curtained-off room, and he collapses against the wall. He takes another moment to catch his breath before cleaning up and heading to bed.

He doesn’t sleep, though. He can’t fall back into where the fantasy is better than reality; then he’ll never want to leave.


End file.
